Do we tell, even small white lies, to the people we trust, feel close to and secured with? Is there a big difference between a white lie and boldfaced one? Are lies just lies no matter how you look at it, excusing neither a small lie and a large lie?

Mostly, people can distinguish the liar from the truth-teller by the person’s genuine or false smile, by their body movements and speech content. As individual in nature as we are, each person of course shows different signs of deceit. But before you accuse someone of lying, check out some of the clues to look into when judging who is lying.

In view, little white lies told to friends benefit the friend and are harmless. To spare another person’s feelings and to make them feel good is okay. The desire not to hurt another person’s feelings that you care for is generous. If we all chose not to tell a small white lie to avoid hurting others’ feelings, women and men would not get along at all and the world would become a miserable and noisy place to live in. In this situation, sparing feelings is understandable and kind. To tell bold-faced lies to deceive is another.

Tragically, brazen liars often distort us in their eyes and cripple self knowledge and prevent us from satisfying our deepest needs. Sensitive and compassionate people tell minuscule lies to protect us from truths that we are not ready to hear and at the same time help us to get on with our lives. They kindly shield us from unnecessary pain because they love us.

Then, there are people who generally lie in social interactions with the intent to mislead. Because social lies are usually automatic and not premeditated, except for the tendency to bend the truth, therefore, making the lies much more revealing. Those people are basically manipulative by nature. They make use of their lies to manipulate the person before them to do what the liar wants knowingly hurting the other person.

There is also the group that allows lying to become an insidious part of their character because of their personal obsession with their image and sociable status (or lack thereof and in search of respectability.) Genuine, sociable people do not need to pretend and deceive because, by nature they have developed the kind of character that projects responsibility, therefore, they enjoy more gratifying relationships in the long hall, both professionally and personally.

Closing Message -

We have all experienced, at one time or another, a situation of people asking us for our opinion on personal/intimate issues. We advise them the best that we can, only to end up unintentionally hurting the person. Plenty of people will agree that there is a price to pay when telling people the truth. And since we cannot always distinguish those who can and cannot accept or face the truth, at times it’s better to remain neutral.

The bottom line is that we need to know how to distinguish the occasional white lies and the pathological liars. We need to know when to walk away from people who lie about feelings, emotions and their opinions of people. We need to know when to stay away from people who deliberately lie about their situations, lifestyle, beliefs, the going-ons in their life and what their basic plans may be in the future. Chronic liars cannot help but continue, out of habit, to cover up failures, shortcomings, and enhance misdeeds and actions.

Not everyone on this planet wants complete honesty, or to take a good healthy dose of reality. Not everyone wants to know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Do you?

Honestly, most people are dishonest.

Oscar Wilde - "If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later to be found out."